02.27.23 – Back to School

Today is my first day as an official student at the Rhode Island School of Design.

(My brain just re-read that sentence and went, “Art school?! What?!?!”)

Needless to say the ol’ emotional palette is sporting a complicated mix of colors this morning.

Feeling nervous, excited, curious, self-conscious and humbled all at the same time.

Nervous because today is my first day at a new school and it’s been about 20 years since I’ve been able to utter those words. I’m beginning an interior design program at RISD and feel a bit over my head with all of the fine art curriculum, but expecting to be stretched and looking forward to growth.

Excited because I LOVE SCHOOL. And learning. And design. And this new challenge gives me a chance to combine and pursue a handful of things that I adore while building new skills for a career I’ve dreamt about for quite a long time.

Curious because I have no idea what to expect. The courses I’m taking for first session involve all these fancy art supplies and I don’t know how to paint with goache or blend with these fancy markers. Im also curious to see if I’m any better at drawing than I was in 5th grade (which is probably the last time I really tried.)

Self-conscious because I have a feeling this career shift is going to throw some people for a loop. I wish I didn’t care so much about what other people think, but I’m working on it. Bottom line is: I’ve come to the decision through careful and thorough research. Much planning, plenty of introspection, lots of long talks with Gerard and my family. I feel entirely at peace with my choice and now the only person I need to worry about, in this respect, is myself.

Humbled because it’s always a little shaky when you are starting from scratch on a new adventure. I actually love being brand new at something for this very reason. It makes me better at paying attention, makes me ask more thoughtful questions, and makes me stay nimble while gathering my newfound skills and experience.

Do you see what I mean about the wide array of feelings getting smeared across the canvas today? Maybe this is what it means to make a mess before you can actually make something into a masterpiece.

The good news is: I can see that an outline is beginning to take shape so I’m just gunna keep clutching the brush as I trust that it will all turn out ok in the end.